HelenzArt-life-musings

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  • Rising From Earthly Bounds.

    Two clay stones embrace a lens to beyond
    Rising from Earthly bounds

    This creation came from having wings in my heart mind. Urging a flight from what is felt to be the ties that make others around me feel comfortable, to be what I feel myself to be when in solitude.

    To sit in the cool of late winter….

    To sit in the cool of late Winter, seeing miniscule signs of the Spring to come.  A leaf bud, a nodding Snowdrop is to feel a hopefulness. I want signs of hopefulness as I  feel that this work with Chris is going to plunge me deep within.  To take me beneath my surface of understanding…

    helenzart2021's avatar by helenzart2021

    Well, here I am!

    The beginning of 2025, a new year, not a new me.  A different me? Perhaps yes. Physically, there has been a renewing and replacing of the biological cells, so yes, in a way. There’s certainly changes in perspectives. Integrations of that which has gone before. Mulling over ones personal history. Even considerations of ones parents’…

    helenzart2021's avatar by helenzart2021

    A seasonal musing.

    I haven’t continued with my ramblings around taking therapy for a bit.  There’s not one reason that can be given but a combination of excuses perhaps.  Not feeling that the timing was right mostly.  yes, I go with my intuition on that. Yet, I am prompted to write today, it’s Christmas day here in the…

    helenzart2021's avatar by helenzart2021

  • Well this is going to be some trial and error as it would appear that not all is going to go smoothly. A test of my patience and resilience to persevere. Such is life!

  • Why am I here?

    This is a question that most of us will ask ourselves at some stage in our lives. Often when events and circumstances have made life feel hard to bear. Whether through the loss or illness of a loved one or a dis-ease in ourselves. Grief can be a huge catalyst to questioning existence. A suffering that can feel too much to bear and yet it is survived.
    We, lost our son Gavin to pulmonary emboli in 2018. To wake the morning after having found him to the thought that he was no longer in our world. Time has allowed that though no longer physically present in body, he still is very much present with spirit.
    My blogging will share parts of my journey from that moment. A journey that expands from the distant mists of the past to now. Planes of experiencing this world with perspectives of otherness. Portals of imagination that are experiences.

  • Why am I Here!

    That’s a question most of us may ask of ourselves when events in our lives may be less comfortable than we would wish. When things are ticking along in the busy-ness of our modern lives we rarely take time to sit and ponder.. Then events may happen, be it the loss of a loved one or an illness that stops us in our tracks of automated, moving along of the daily ordinary and cause us to examine why we are here. We may ignore or deny that prompt, because we are caught in the pain and seeming chaos of ours and others emotions, yet it will sit under the surface and wait for us to come back to it.

    For me it was the sudden death of our 28 year old son from a pulmonary embolism in 2018. Gavin was an independent man, working and living his life. I knew he was having some mental health issues of depression. Through my own experiences on and off in my own life, apart from being there to support him it was going to be up to him to take the steps needed towards wellness. He had started those steps and just a couple of months before, after a weekend away as a family he had expressed that he felt strange and that strangeness was a happiness he hadn’t felt for awhile! That cheered us up and he then began planning a return to work programme. He was on medication and that had recently been changed. He had become sedentary with his die ease from being an avid cyclist he was sat doing not much. When he complained of shoulder pains that stretched across his chest and unable to get comfortable we took him to emergency care in hospital. . Triage is a tick box exercise, it takes individuals and shapes them to fit an average supposition. No human is average! The Doctor took more notice of that form than of Gavin. How do we know that, because when Gavin died he had to have an autopsy. That showed that Gavin had a minor PE then and 10 days later died of a massive PE. If it had been diagnosed on that visit it is likely that preventative treatment would allow Gavin to be here in his body person hood today.

    So why am I here? Here doing a blog! It’s to share my journeying from that life changing event, through the emotions, not only of that grief but on what happened after that. How life opened in the most surprising ways!

    Ways that now have me as ‘no body, dressed in the body of a human called Helen, an ordinary woman having extra-ordinary experiences’.